I want to break something. To feel something break beneath my fists, I want to feel powerful with every hit til it cracks and crumbles and breathe with relief. I want to punch the living shit out of everything and then die. I am after all a hideous creature. Fuck. You.
I seriously have no words. And I mean literally, I screamed so much, my voice is now GONE. But my evening was made when FELIX CANE CAME OUT. I screamed soooo hard, it was amazing, my mind was blown. After watching her for years on youtube and then getting the chance to watch her live? OH MY GODDDDDDD :) And her solo routine was amaaaaaazing. But other then Felix Cane, the entire show was just mind-blowning. The dances, the acrobatics, the costumes, the lights, the entire arena. The stage was pretty badass too.
I want to scream. I want to scream so loud that the entire milky way can hear me. I want to scream to the point where my lungs catch fire. I want to feel the burn of my throat as it dissipates. I want to feel the drums of my ears consume itself in utter pain. I want to….sleep forever in the comfort of softness and never have to wake up to the crack of dawn and experience another day of pain.
“I remember when I was doing Rent and I was too thin, and I was doing that on purpose because I’m dying, I’m an HIV positive drug addict. I remember having to eat raw food and doing all this work to make sure I could stay thin… And I remember everyone asking me when I was doing press for the movie, “What did you do to get so thin? You looked great!” and I’m like, “I looked emaciated.” It’s a form of violence in the way that we look at women and how we expect them to look and be, for…what’s sake? Not health, not survival, not enjoyment of life, but just so that you can look ‘pretty’. I’m constantly telling girls all the time, “Everything’s airbrushed, everything’s retouched, and none of us look like that.”—Rosario Dawson. (via danielleyagodich)
The only reason I won’t do anything to go now is because I know what my parents- what my mother will enable my father to do- once I’m gone. I’ll just have to wait for 9 more months…then no one will ever know. If only time was on my side. And fate. And luck. And the world. And life.
I feel kinda like a dumbass right now because I basically said everything that I can’t say to the world on Michelle Phan’s site for a giveaway. A giveaway with 3 winners that will be picked randomly? It’s funny because even though I didn’t tell the right people, I feel kind of refreshed that I finally said what I’ve been wanting to say for 9 months. Oh the wonders in life. Go figure.
“Realizing that other people have a problem with homosexuality was the weirdest thing for me. As a kid it wasn’t even something that was mentioned. It was never something that was even explained to me. It was just, “That’s Mark and he’s gay.” Mark was just another friend of my dad’s who would talk about his boyfriend instead of his girlfriend. I was 5. I didn’t care. It seemed perfectly normal, and still does … It just drives me crazy that people can make such sweeping, ignorant statements and bring religion into it … Why would you want a god that’s up there picking and choosing who he lets in ? That doesn’t make any sense.”— Daniel Radcliffe (via hybridsblood)